Below is a blog I wrote for an AT&T HBO promotion for the Game of Thrones Season 6 Premier. The goal was to write a series of posts in the tongue-in-cheek style of Buzzfeed to generate excitement for the new season. The post below was one of my favorites. Game of Thrones fans, I hope you enjoy this one!
Get Out of Work, Game of Thrones Style
Game of Thrones is an emotional rollercoaster, with characters we’ve grown to know and love meeting untimely ends every season. No. One. Is. Safe. With all the time invested in keeping up with the show, recovery is often not swift when a beloved character is killed. A day off of work might even be in order. But when you need an emergency personal day, what do you tell your boss? We know the old standards—need to help a family member, a pet is ill, your car is in the shop, but what would Westeros do? Check out these perfect canned excuses from your favorite Game of Thrones characters to get-out-of-work free.
1. “I drank too much Dornish wine.” – Tyrion Lannister
Even the most seasoned party-goers overdo it sometimes. And with a belly full of the finest wine from Dorne, you’re sure to be down for the count the next day. If your boss understands that parties at King’s Landing are obligatory, then this is the excuse for you.
2. “I got called in for Night’s Watch duty.” – Jon Snow
When the Watch calls, you must answer. Who else will protect Westeros from the dangers beyond the Wall? After all, it’s your civic duty. No boss could argue with this highly legitimate excuse.
3. “I have to take my direwolf to the vet.” – Arya Stark
A direwolf might be a strong, fierce beast, but even they get a case of the sniffles every once in a while. If your silent protector falls ill, take them to the best animal doc that Westeros can provide. After all, they’re a rare breed.
4. “I found out the king is my father.” – Gendry
Nothing in Westeros is more dangerous than having a claim to the Throne, so this is a perfect excuse to skip town for a day…or a few years. If your boss doesn’t cut you some slack, tell him to bend the knee—after all, you’re royalty.
5. “I have a contagious case of greyscale.” – Ser Jorah Mormont
When you have something as contagious and deadly as greyscale, you’re doing everyone a favor by staying home, but you should also seriously consider moving to a deserted island.
6. “My horse is in the shop.” – Jamie Lannister
When your horse breaks down in Westeros, you can’t exactly call AAA. If you need the day off, blame your troubles on your equine friend for a sure-fire, sword-proof excuse.
7. “I went to a really bad wedding over the weekend.” – Rob and Catelyn Stark
We’ve all been there—a wedding where nothing goes right. But in Westeros, weddings can reach a whole new level of disastrous. Just tell your boss that you’re lucky to be alive after the “blissful” nuptials. They’ll know what you mean.
So there you have it—your get-out-of-work free cards. The next time one of your favorite characters bites the dust, try one of these excuses on for size. If your boss is a Game of Thrones fan, they might even let you off the hook! Tune in to see who dies next, Sundays, 10/9c on HBO.